Sunday, October 12, 2008, 4:41 PM
god i need help
life's full of surprises.
and i dont like it one bit.
it sucked.
im hating myself now.
this is so frustrating.
im in camp and she's out with her 'FRIENDS'.
do friends eat each other up??
or do friends help out, knowing the bad things happen yet they cover for them??
a friend in need, is a friend in deed.
i so fucking sad now.
tears flowing like water.
i love her ya.
alot.
but why is this shit happening to me?
what did i do to deserve this.
is it my past that made her like this?
ive long forgotten all of it.
ive changed.
and i feel great till this has had to happen.
i may lost her trust the last time.
never once in my life i didnt trust her.
since she turned 22, she had been this way.
i made her smiled on her special day.
but after that i receive all this shit.
what did i do to deserve all this?
ive sacrifice alot for her.
even leave my friends for her, just not to see her in pain.
can she do that for me?
i guess no.
am i 2nd to her friends?
than what am i to her.
i know where my all mistakes are.
i dont wish to repeat all of it.
ive had enough and regretted all of it.
and now she's doin it??
ive repent on all of my mistakes.
haiz.
it just sucked.
"Define for me - best friend, love & friendship."
"Sometimes, friendship replaces love and then, there is no space left for love"
what's that suppose to mean??
friends dont replace love.
this kinda friends you dont wish you had one.
i rather lose all of them then losing the one i love.
you dont fall in love everyday.
and you dont love someone the same as the rest.
its always different.
its coming to 4 years now and im not gonna let it go.
its not easy neither for you nor me.
but im still holding on cause of the thing we had.
its magical.
but yah, shit happens.
ive endured a long way and will still endure.
all im for is the truth and sincerity.
in both words and action.
im so down now.
im so helpless without her.
Dear god,
help me go thru this.
all this tests are from you.
and to you i pray for strength.
please protect her where ever she is.
im worried sick.
oh god, please help me go thru this.
only in you i seek for help and forgiveness.
my eyes are all red now.
my hearts all heavy.
my body feels weak.
my head is turning.
i need all the strength i cud get.
jusqu'à alors
